One of the restaurants that we try to visit whenever we are in Paris is the turn of the 20th century bouillon (worker's canteen), Chartier. Located through a small courtyard off of the rue de Faubourg Montmartre in the 9th arrondissement, it is a huge restaurant with towering ceilings, mirrored walls, giant chandeliers and beautiful brass luggage racks.
Think an upscale Durgin Park with a Parisian Belle Époque flair. Chartier seats more than 300 people family style at tables for four or six and you are likely to find yourself elbow to elbow with strangers, sharing the mustard, the bread basket and, with luck, interesting conversation.
The waiter writes your order in beautiful script on the paper "tablecloth" and, at the end of the meal, he enters the price of each item, speedily adds up the tab in his head and, voilà, you have your bill. Apparently, in earlier times, "l'addition" was tallied on real tablecloths.
Although our schedule was chock-a-block full during our last week in Paris, we made a special effort to fit in our semi-annual lunch at Chartier. We were pleased to find ourselves seated beside two french women, one of whom had been patronizing the restaurant for 30 years. She knew exactly what she and her guest (a first timer) wanted, and promptly ordered choucroute and plain water for each of them. When he saw steaming plates of choucroute set down in front of our neighbors, Charles promptly changed his order to the same thing. For reasons that will become obvious, I don't remember what I ordered.
As we were chatting, one of the women pointed to a chandelier across the room and said something about a pigeon. Huh? I looked but couldn't see anything except the chandelier far across the room. "See," said Charles. "It moves when the bird moves." Oh. There it was. Yes. It was a pigeon. A live pigeon. In a chandelier. Perched above one of the restaurant's tables. That, happily, was empty.
Naturally, I pulled out my camera and took a quick shot of the chandelier and its passenger. (See above.)
What photographer would not have done the same? If you double click on the detail from the picture to the right, you should be able to see the blurry bird's beady eyes and note that they seem to be looking right at me. Is he trying to telegraph his outrage that I was taking his picture without first asking permission? Or is he measuring me as a potential target?
We all chuckled uneasily while wondering how he got into the restaurant and why he was allowed to stay. Realistically, how could they get rid of him during the height of the luncheon crowd? Would pigeon be on tomorrow's menu? In no time, however, the novelty wore off (the bird was way across the room, after all) and we returned to enjoying our lunch and taking in the lively scene at floor level.
Suddenly one of the French women gasped again. She was pointing to the chandelier hanging right above me. I looked up and this time had no problem seeing the pigeon, or more accurately the back end of the pigeon, perched high above me and, more importantly, directly above my lunch. Oh dear. Oh NO. Oh yes.
I laughed good naturedly while moving my plate as far to the corner of the table as possible. The whole situation was surreal and, really, there was nothing to do but laugh. That or throw a tizzy fit. Then, suddenly, while I was cooly ignoring the whole situation, as was everyone else around us -
SPLAT.
The top of my left hand had taken a direct hit and, as it turned out, my left shoulder as well.
Flurry on the part of Charles as he tried to get the attention of a waiter. Stunned silence on the part of our two French table mates. "Pardon, Madame," said the waiter as he brought me extra paper napkins to help me clean myself up, dropping them on the table as he rushed past. I wondered briefly if it might not have been better if I had shot the damned pigeon with something other than my camera. Then I started to giggle. It was funny. It was really, really funny. Absurd and funny.
There was nothing to do but continue with our meal. The whole episode had caused barely a ripple among the other diners, as though it were an everyday occurrence (which, I can assure you it is not!). Or, perhaps, they were politely trying to spare me embarassment. We lingered over dessert and coffee well after our table mates had departed before signaling the waiter that it was time to tote up our bill. The lunch crowd was almost gone by the time we left. The pigeon was still there.
I should have been grossed out. I should have been disgusted. But it was so funny, all I could do was laugh. And be grateful that I had been born with a sense of humor.
Will we go back to Chartier? Absolutely!! Of course, I will be sure to bring an umbrella next time. Just in case.
If you have nothing better to do than read stories about my restaurant misadventures, click here for a tale of another time when having an umbrella handy would have helped. And, by the way, note that the fellow standing in front of Chartier is furling his umbrella. Undoubtedly, he just finished lunching there.